Monthly Archives: February 2015

February 25th. Billie was born.

Billie LaRene was born on this day in 1944. It was her birthday.

To us it is still her birthday. It has been 10 years since we celebrated her birthday with her. Since her physical departure.

She loved birthdays and made them so special for those she loved. I’m sure we didn’t do the same for hers. But she loved giving. She loved seeing others receive. Her son inherited this trait.

It means we got way too many ‘things’ for every single holiday, especially Christmas. She was far from materialistic in my mind however. It was all about celebration, giving and receiving by others. It also illustrated her opportunity. One that her parents didn’t have. Typical for Boomers raised by Silents.

She had many roles. More than anyone I have known or do know today. Wife, housewife, mother, stay-at-home mom (for our youngest days), sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, cousin, friend, caregiver, hired hand, hay-crew, cattle herder, gardner, church band member, community advocate, artist of all types of paint, chalk and clay, musician of harmonica, piano, banjo and fiddle, and across all of these roles, she was a nurse.

Being raised by a nurse means you learn things about how to take care of minor issues. It means you see care being given to family members, neighbors, and animals. It means you hear stories about care, strife and pain. It means you trust the system of care because you see it through your Mom’s perspective.

Her favorite part of being a nurse was her time with any birth. The OB existed in the big hospitals where she trained but not in the rural hospital where she last worked as Director of Nursing. A new baby being born fueled her for weeks. She even saw hope in the many babies she brought into the world born with fetal alcohol syndrome. They were a new breathing human life. However challenging that life was going to be.

It was very difficult to top Mom’s gift-giving, gift wrapping, party creating talent. One year I recall very well, Dad decided to get her a poodle puppy. We had lost our Chippie the year before and the house was void of a lap dog. It was a family effort and we ‘wrapped’ a small box and put the buff colored toy/miniature puppy inside. She nearly caused the thing a heart-attack when she opened the box expecting something not living and breathing.

She loved it. She loved the surprise. And the puppy. And she loved all of us for making it special. 

I got the measles

In 1989. From about an hour in a Lincoln, Nebraska dorm room of the soon-to-be-sick friend who had already left for the Summer. I would be contagious for two weeks during which I went home for Summer break and attended my brother’s high school graduation including hugs down a receiving line. It was Mother’s task to inform the town and send out the alerts as a community medical professional. 

I HAD been vaccinated. Before 1971. It was an outbreak that affected somewhat rare cases like mine but more commonly the inner city kids and minority children nationally who were not vaccinated. The news about risk then was about the kids and areas without access to minimum healthcare. 

Today we face another challenge and changes this from being about poverty and access. The choice parents have taken and some doctors support, to not vaccinate for reasons that are serious, connected to effects such as autism

I am not an expert in this debate, I am curious and only linked by having had the disease as a young adult. Here is a good summary of the history. 

As a ‘rich’ country, we are a society that has lived with so much progress. We have not had to live amidst suffering. We have had access to healthcare (largely) including vaccinations that prevent suffering and disease. Even the poor parts of our cities that are affected by health issues due to lack of access, we largely live separate from and ignore. 

The infectious diseases of third world and emerging economies are a key reason why many of those regions remain third, or emerging. We hear but we don’t realize what it means to live without fear of getting a disease that has no cure, that could result in death. What it means to those who see Polio every day, and wish for the day it will finally be eradicated

There will still be the poor communities that face risk during this measles outbreak, as they did in 1989. But there are also a new group of ‘rich’ kids facing risks. I am curious about what this means for the future of society, their future. In 2006, the response to the 1989 outbreak meant a national immunization program. Even amidst the possible link to autism which was first documented by a doctor in 1998. He was later stripped of his medical license. Concerns continued and certain substances were to be removed from the vaccination. All of this is progress. We should challenge and question. We also should weight the risks. 

I was really sick. I remember how bad my abdominal muscles hurt from coughing. I wondered when I would not be on the couch coughing laying down. I wondered what people do without a mother that is a nurse. I never thought I wouldn’t be ok and get better. I didn’t realize the risk of this illness either, not to me or society. I also got the flu that Summer, one of two times in my life. I expect my immunity was affected. 

A silver lining, we went to Spain to visit our exchange student that same year. The ’freshman 15’ I put on the two years previously were readily shed during that ill Spring. I could enjoy my CocaCola swimsuit and the beaches of Alicante with a bit more confidence. 

Valentine’s Day Reflection

When I think about this holiday, I don’t wonder about flowers, a romantic dinner or a date with the love of my life. We do that regularly without a holiday. It might be because we both prefer experiences over things and resist commercialization.

It might be because for me, it was such a special holiday as a child. A special holiday only through the creativity and love that my Mother added to the ‘things’. On Valentine’s Day, I think of my Mother.

I recall how much joy it gave her to create such a special occasion for my brother Clint and I. Helping us with our school Valentine’s, baking for the multi-district party and helping us (mostly me) look festive. For us, it was always a big stuffed animal (not the tiny fit-on-a-box kind) and some chocolates. She prepared every detail as if she were being judged at a craft contest, like we were the most important recipient of all. Our Valentine’s were perfect. Even with my Dad (who also got chocolates) it was about hearts, red, pink, love, family, friends and fun.

While I only remember one actual teddy bear (a red one I creatively named Valentine), I have vivid memories of the joy that my Mom showed, her character, her giving nature and her creativity. She didn’t teach me things matter by celebrating this and other holidays. She taught me the joy of giving, the joy of creativity and the joy of seeing others joy.

It brings me joy to see the ‘kids focus’ on Facebook today. To see parents instilling love amidst the floral, fuzzy and sweet things that make it special. To bring meaning to retail madness. Amidst it all, experiences are had and I think many are good ones today and will create memories like mine.

Cheers to all who love and celebrate Valentine’s Day, double cheers to the parents who are creating heart-filled memories for their kids.

Thank you Mom for your lessons of love when you were here with us. And now, for being present in spirit so we can feel close to those lessons, so we can feel love through the joy of giving.